you know... i really dont get lordshado, after every thing weve been through, he still doesnt give me respect...

for all the times ive defended his honor fo all things.

get this... once some one told me shado could eat a shit sandwich.. i was like
NO!!


LordShado doesnt like bread.












(much love shady, all for good laugh XDD)

No, I don't like bread. I usually eat it with hair!

Toss my salad...bitch! LOL

Women Are Evil By Nature

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her
Hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes.. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her
Forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth

And allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered,
"There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

THE GAY FLIGHT ATTENDANT
(This one is too funny to not forward.)
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and said....
'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.' On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines when I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'
She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch'

That last one is my knew Christmas joke. My other one was getting old about a hat, a coat and piece of ass.

share the full joke shady

No way, jose!

lol

SMART ARSED ANSWERS

The last one is a worthy winner.


6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

'What are my choices?' the man asked.

'Yes or no,' she replied.









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5th Place

A flight attendant was stationed at the Qantas departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed at her

Without blinking an eyelid she said,

'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'


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4th Place

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a Woolworth's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The assistant replied, ' I'm afraid not, they're dead.'


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3rd Place

The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.

'I've been waiting for you all day,' the policeman said.

The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'






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2nd Place

A semi-trailer driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car came up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab

And said to the driver,

'Got stuck, eh?'

The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'


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SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008

A teacher at a TAFE College reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.

'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,

'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/national/banker-busted-on-tv-looking-at-naked-photos/story-e6frea8c-1225826052925
this is funny lol

Buahahahha

Reminds me of this one:

http://www.boingboing.net/2004/08/27/accidental-real-esta.html

One of my favourites, coz my name is John and I would prolly say something similar...

so a girl puts in the singles ads

"Wanted, a guy who wont beat me, wont run away with my best friend and is good in bed"

a few days later her door bell rings. out side is an armless legless man responding to her ad, he says calmly. "as you can see i have no arms, so i cant possbly hit you, and i have no legs, so i cant possibly run away-"

the woman quickly interupts him "but how good are you in bed?"

the man simply responds...

"i rang the door bell didnt i?"